My “Why”…

I’ve neglected my personal blog for a long time. I’ve been busy with my business and overwhelmed with life details, making my daily priority survival. If you don’t have a hidden sickness/injury then you likely won’t really “get” that – but that’s ok. 

I typically find it difficult to be misunderstood. You’d think that after 20yrs of explaining myself that I’d finally understand that no matter how much I explain myself it often won’t make a difference. And beyond that, there are far too many closed-minded individuals, no matter what the topic or level of intellectual reasoning. Some people just have to be right all the time, or they are adamantly content in their ignorance.

I find that difficult to deal with. I am an emotional being and given my brain injury, I fight daily battles with the severity of my emotions – sometimes unsuccessfully. I have taken courses, read books and articles, was supported by a cognitive behavioural psychologist for three years, and spent as much time with an active yoga practice. I have “done my time” so to speak and have explored the spectrum, from judgmental Christianity to free-love Buddhism. I have lived the “set in my ways” mentality and I’ve discovered the freedom of “whatever you believe is fine.”

Funny enough, I find my frame of reference is always associated with “religion” or rather theistic philosophy (which I have come to call my approach to Christianity). The word religion sends many evangelicals into defensive mode – “it’s not religion, it’s a relationship.” Understood. However, that frame of reference still contains a list of do’s and don’ts which our human brains typically take to an extreme, one way or another. 

Life Coaches and Business Coaches and entrepreneurial gurus talk a lot about a person’s “why”. Essentially it comes down to the question, “what is your motivation and the thing that makes you get up in the morning (even when you don’t feel like it)?” For many the motivator is money (paying the bills, “freedom” of choice or lifestyle); for others they frame it in terms of their dependents – spouse, kids, etc – still, the ultimate underlying motivator is the money. 

So, outside of a career, I’d like to suggest that a similar question can be asked regarding a person’s life philosophy (or value system): why do you/we act/live the way we do? What is your motivator for speaking to people the way you do or making the choices you make? 

And then there’s Dr. Phil’s famous question: how’s that working for ya?

Are you finding that your why is creating the outcome you had hoped for? Do you receive affirmation from outside sources that your methods are accomplishing the end goal that you set out to achieve (whether consciously or subconsciously)? How do you track your “success” along the way? I’ve heard it said that “success leaves clues”. 

Where am I going with all of this?

I’m at a place in life where I’m finally ready to define my “why”. I think I’ve known it all along – and have likely been expressing it in many ways this whole time – but I’ve never defined it in these terms. My “why” in life – in relationships, in business, and in theological philosophy – is love. Why do I do free hugs days? Because I love people. Why do I give and/or care more than I need to? Because of love. Why do I want to explain myself incessantly so as not to be misunderstood? Because of love. Why do I get up in the morning? Because of love. 

My purpose in life is love -and if you aren’t feeling that from me in one way or another, than maybe I need to learn to speak your “love language”. That’s a thing you know. 

So, yes, I believe that love is all we need. God is love. And I believe He is what we need. I believe that God and love should be used synonymously. And it saddens my heart to think that many “religious/spiritual” people still find aggressive confrontation to be an appropriate way to express God’s love. The two seem like opposing forces in my mind. 

So that is all for me today. I hope your day is filled with love wherever you are in the world. I hope love touches every corner of your heart today, no matter your circumstances or external influence. 

Thank you for listening. 
Much love. ❤️

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